A Recurring Dream

In a recurring dream, I am in a car with the seat pushed so far to the back as if I am driving from the rear seat and I’m just able to reach the brake with the tip of my foot, but I’m unable to step on it, and I cannot see where I’m headed because my eyes are glued shut. I know there’s the ocean to my left of and traffic to the right, and I’m driving along at a steady pace with no way of bringing the car to a stop.

In real life, as I started moving away from well-meaning people who were steering my mind and my emotions and after I started becoming more assertive, one day in my dream, my eyes flew open, and I turned the car into a snowbank that rose out of nowhere, and finally the car stopped, and people came running up to me, asking, “are you Ok?” And I climbed out of the car, dazed and yet strong, and said, yes, I am OK.

Ink illustration of my niece Radhiya Hemchandra The peacock is the spirit of dreams.